Chicken legs...

I KNEW there was a reason I usually wear jeans! 

 

This past Labor Day weekend, I had a good friend invite me AND my two kids to go boating with her, so, I wore shorts. 

Let me tell you, those are some skinny, pasty white calf muscles I have. 

I'll leave you (and me for future reference) with some calf building exercises I'm going to start doing.
Best calf muscle building exercises

Wish MS were terminal?

I did - a LONG time ago.  I'd just started running into my 'new normal' of walking with a cane and not really cantering, had just lost my first job after graduating because of the MS diagnosis, had my mother and mother-in-law take my daughter (then my only child) for the summer 'so it'd be easier on me', plus the heavy feeling of that this would always be how it was going to be - hard to live with.  Well, I just saw this story on the 'We're Not Drunk We Have MS' Face Book community page;

MS sufferer rode wheelchair for two hours to kill herself
An MS sufferer travelled for two hours in an electric wheelchair to commit suicide in a canal - after her twin sister refused to buy her flight to the Dignitas clinic in Switzerland.

Carol Hutchins is supported by her stepmother Jane and father Alec after completing the Reading Half Marathon in 1993. She was a keen runner before MS struck her down Photo: INS
7:30AM GMT 24 Feb 2012
The day before Carol Hutchins died, she arrived home in floods of tears after the lever on her buggy had jammed leaving her unable to throw herself over a 3ft fence and into the water.
Determined to end her life, Mrs Hutchins returned to the canal the following day and got the mechanism working to lift the chair above the height of the fence.
The 53-year-old waited until a crew of workmen cleaning graffiti nearby went on a break before heaving her body, which was immobile from the chest down, into the water.
When the labourers returned to the towpath of the Kennet and Avon Canal in Reading, Berks., they found the empty wheelchair and then spotted Carol floating face-down in the water.
Police constable Victoria Blaszko (corr) leapt over the 3ft fence and dragged the middle-aged woman's body from the water as fellow officers, firefighters and paramedics rushed to the towpath.
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Mrs Hutchins, who had been described as a vibrant woman with a "larger than life personality", was taken to hospital where she was declared dead shortly after arrival on October 22 last year.
A post mortem examination gave the cause of her death as drowning.
The Berkshire coroner heard that Mrs Hutchins was diagnosed with MS in 1989 and had taken part in marathons before MS ravaged her body and left her wheelchair bound.
Her sister, Ingrid Foan, said that in July 2010 her depressed sister was unable to do anything for herself and begged her to buy a one way plane ticket to Switzerland so she could end her life.
"She was terrified by what was happening to her," she tearfully told the hearing in Windsor, Berks.
She told how her sister had said that she had "lost everything and didn't want to live like this anymore," and had previously spoken of throwing herself into the canal.
Ingrid explained that after a 10-week hospital stay her sibling's condition had improved and she was able to do much more for herself.
Carol's devastated parents, Alec and Ursula, said they believed their daughter had planned to end her life before her condition worsened further and she could no longer control her destiny.
Mr Hutchins said: "We think she planned it while she was in hospital.
"She didn't involve anyone else. She knew exactly what MS was and what it was doing to her."
When asked whether they thought Carol had taken her own life, Mr Hutchins replied: "I'm in no doubt."
In recording his verdict coroner Peter Bedford said that Carol was suffering from a "horrible" disease at the time of her death.
"From the evidence given to me I am quite satisfied that Carol Hutchins died on October 22 last year at the Royal Berkshire Hospital and that she took her own life while suffering from multiple sclerosis and depression."
Speaking before the hearing Mr Hutchins called for assisted suicide to be legalised.
"Carol was a very courageous woman but at the end of the day she has demonstrated a need for euthanasia in this country," he said.
"People say life is precious but there comes a point when life is not precious and it becomes torture for those that are living.
"Carol had thought about going to Dignitas in Switzerland but it is very expensive and it puts other people in a difficult position.
"It showed tremendous courage for her to do what she did all alone and I believe that she had planned it after having enough of being a prisoner in her own home.
"She knew one more setback could leave her totally immobilised and she wouldn't be able to do anything for herself and she would just be washed, dressed and stuck in front of the television."
Story

All the comments to the story can be seen at: https://www.facebook.com/WereNotDrunkWeHaveMs

Personally, I can understand.  I've only been diagnosed for about 6 years, and most imortantly, I have a GREAT support system who have worked hard to help me keep riding the horses.  I have trouble now feeling sorry for myself just with the amount of help people give me to keep me riding.  In the last month alone, I've been literally drug off my horse to get me on the ground about half a dozen times.  But, on the plus side, I have people who don't mind doing that for me and have over 100 miles for the year in the Distance Derby!

Long time no see

I was going to post regularly earlier this year, but it didn't happen.  I've got several posts at least titled, that's a start, right?  No.  It's 11:30 here, but I WILL get going tomorrow!  See you then.

More falling... only off a horse this time!

First time I've hit the dirt in at LEAST 10 years, I believe, and the first on Cherokee (other than a boggled attempt at doing maneuvers I didn't understand when I pulled him over on me).  Which, is just another lesson in the fact that I can't ride more than about 50 minutes, or a mile and a half, without taking a break. As my body was protesting the fast pace of the ride last night, I thought I could just hold Cherokee back and wait for the riders to come back. He didn't want anything to do with it. My upper body gave out completely and I lost the ability to whoa him and school some with the lessons we'd learned to keep his head on what I was asking.  So, we were traveling at Cherokee's command. When I could no longer sit upright, and fell on the horn, Cherokee took that as a sign to canter and catch up with the group. Then I came off.  The other riders got Cherokee caught and me back on and the lady I trailered in with rode back towards to trailer with me.  All the horses seemed a little high headed with 16 riders on a ride this early in the season, so I really doubt it would have changed the outcome if she's stayed with us.  Cherokee also had his first time kicking back at a horse on a ride - before taking off with me.  Fine, but I was still having troubles with my body and we opted to stop and get me off on the south side of the road we'd come under while she went back to the trailer and called one of our husbands to come get me. In the mean time, I waited until the trail ride came back to where I was sitting. One of the riders (on a gorgeous Morgan!) knew my trailer friend and had spoken to her on the phone and said her husband was coming, but, it'd be good if we could get me back on and to the road. SO, back in a saddle I went.  So thankful for the nice gentle man who hoisted my malfunctioning body up into the saddle twice!  Anyway, they got my 'dumped off' on the other side of the bridge by the road ('no, I don't want to be closer to the road to wait' - did I mention that my T-shirt caught on the saddle horn as I came off?!) and I waited again, this time for the truck with my friend's husband.  He came and picked me up - not literally, because my legs were mostly working again my then.  Lesson learned for the MSer who'd prefer not to make accommodations and inconvenience people (after she got fired for trying that with her job); once you know your body's limitations, speak them before riding out with a group of people and see if they're willing to do what you need, and if not - go home.  Too bad I didn't realize how 100% needed my rest periods were before I had to eat dirt, and I KNOW me coming off was more of an inconvenience than if I'd just spoke up before we rode out!  Some things (people?) seem to have to be learned (learn) the hard way though.

COWGIRL WISDOM

COWGIRL WISDOM: “Don't wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.” Mark Victor Hansen

Extremely fitting after my adventures last night.  I had planned my leave time around when I needed to go from my place to the State Rec Area (SRA), but called my friend to see if she was coming too before going out to catch my horse - her truck was with her hubby.  Well, been meaning to get down to her place for at least a yr now (maybe 2?!), so why not go pick her up?  Mind you, I've been proving myself to be more and more directionally challenged over the last few years (don't know if it's ms related or simply passing 30, lol).  Yep, thought I was doing good, but pulled into the wrong place and then got myself turned around back a$$ backwards following her directions over the phone (What DID we do before cellphones?!).  Go west?  'Oh, that's to my right', my head tells me... you know, head is north, left is east, right west....  Wait a sec.!  That doesn't even make sense with the cardinal direction's 'W-E' when reading maps!!  Dyslexic?  No, at the computer too much.  I'm facing south at my computer, and west is out the window to my right - goodness!!

Anyway, I picked up my friend, eventually and we ended up being an hour late for the ride.  Went to empty my bladder in the trailer before hopping on my horse, and fell.  Bare assed onto the dirty trailer floor!  UGH.  Okay, got bridled up - eventually.  (Last night was another lesson in just admitting needing help and ASKING FOR IT, btw.)  Mount. Nope, feet said enough, and wouldn't pick up.  Finally asked for help and got on my horse!  Had a nice hour ride in a new location, with two new friends and an old one. :-)  Asked for help much more readily dismounting, and nearly fell on my butt again going to sit on my mounting block.  Lots of laughter though, and I actually can say I'm starting to enjoy the calamities that comes with the ms.  Maybe not enjoy, but at least be able to laugh at them with other people.

Thanks Leigh for getting a picture! :-)

Why horses?

I have SO many things that I have written up\started in my head, but this one jumped out at me and caused me to pull up my page.

Growing up in a non-horsey family, I was always looked at (or at least perceived myself to be looked at) with some skepticism and misunderstanding.  It was (is still) perfectly acceptable for family members to put up their hobbies as excuses to miss events, but riding - rarely.  Going out to 'play' with your horse was seen as just that, playing.  The other non-horse riding members of society seem to have the same views.  If you are going out to ride, you're just out playing around.  Jobs focusing in on your horse knowledge then, also, should not have to pay you as much, of course, because you're just playing and therefore not to be taken seriously.

Why do it then?  It's strenuous, hot, dirty and potentially dangerous.  I'll tell you why, for the vast majority of horse back riders, if not all, it's in our blood.  Speaking for myself, I cannot think of any other place I feel the most 'connected' to earth, nature, God, than on the back of a horse - or even being around them.  I hate speaking in front of people, always have, but if I've got a horse beside me, an inner strength is found and I draw upon the horse's presence.  That said, and to hint at a future post, I do NOT view horses to be 'super natural sentient beings' to be put above any other animal.

As I loaded up my horse's tack we'd taken out of the trailer this weekend, I had to ask myself why I was doing this and could see where the non-horse inclined population might view people like me as being a few cards short of a full deck.  I'm hoping to head out tonight (barring inclement weather that seems near according to the weather guesser and with the thick, humid air) for 3 reasons.

1. To socialize with others who're short the same cards I must be... though let me put this thought out there, perhaps our 'deck' is not short some cards, but we have more than the average 52 card deck.
2. To exercise and do therapy for my ms ridden body.
3. To keep my horse in shape and 'on task'.

I really cannot think of better exercise than riding a horse... to be covered in a later post, as I know I need to rest some before going out to catch and load my horse before my neighbor gets here to watch Cody until my husband gets home.

(btw, My horse has chewed on his tongue since the day I met him - 16 yrs ago! - I'm not THAT heavy! rofl)

Sneaking in a ride

Despite the MS and not being able to ride for a long time, and having the baby and just plain not having much time, I am really making a descent 'run' with the distance derby.  Amazing how a little competition, even if it's just with yourself, will motivate you.  Currently, I'm listed as 46th out of 70+ riders.  Not bad considering my circumstances!  Last night my husband called and said he hadn't had much work and was hoping to be home by 4:30, so what do I do, I go change into riding clothes (*not* my PJs I hadn't bothered getting out of all day since I had no where to go!) and wait anxiously for Nate to arrive to trudge out in the 8?+ inches of snow to catch me a horse and saddle him.

 I had him grab Clue so I'd have a nice, easy ride before it got totally dark.  

In using a GPS for the race, I found out that Clue's trot is twice as fast as Cherokee cantering (slowly so I can sit it easily) and it's still more comfortable to ride!

Our sats from our quick sunset ride were;

Distance: 1.09 mi

Time: 31:53

Moving Time: 25:25

Elapsed Time: 31:53

Avg Speed: 2.1 mph

Avg Moving Speed: 2.6 mph

Max Speed: 13.4 mph

 

I rode Cherokee the day before, which was the day after our Nebraska February snowstorm and just totted for the fastest we went (mind you, I am now a pretty much walk only rider), but here's our stats from Sunday;

Distance: 2.57 mi
Time: 1:25:32
Moving Time: 53:45
Elapsed Time: 1:25:32
Avg Speed: 1.8 mph
Avg Moving Speed: 2.9 mph
Max Speed: 4.7 mph

Sunday would have been my grandpa's 98th birthday and we got around 10 inches of snow.  There was no going outside for anybody for the most part of that day, though our neighbor came and cleared our driveway in case of an emergency.

Snow used to be fun.  I loved going out in it during winter breaks or helping out feeding all the horses and cleaning stalls at the barn if school was called off due to snow.  Now, I have to seriously consider what and where I'll go if I'm wanting to go outside with snow.  I'm lucky enough to have a husband who'll saddle my horse and bring him to the driveway for me to get on.  We are already talking about how and where we'll put sidewalks in around the place too.