The last few months of my pregnancy and following my son's birth, I would have been lost without my power chair. I got one of the new(er? - new to me anyway) strollers with the car seat that hooks into it, thinking that after Cody was born I would move him around the house with that to avoid falling with him. That didn't happen. The power chair made everything easier, and I didn't hurt so much and didn't have to worry so much about getting my new baby into a stroller and not falling standing there. It's been 5 months now since Cody was born. I have been using my walker more and even 'free walking' recently during the times when he is sleeping, but always using the chair when working with him. The whole time though, I've had the old saying 'use it or loose it' sitting in the back of my mind, wondering if I was still using my legs, etc. enough not to loose them.
Yesterday was a breaking point for me, of sorts. Ultimately, I decided that I had been catering to my limitations, with trying to do things 'normally' only now and then. I'm now going to 'play normal' by trying to do as much as I can the way I used to before the ms and before my body went completely haywire with the pregnancy added in, and only do things in a 'disabled' fashion as my body says 'enough' and I know I need to be doing less. For instance, I usually sit in my chair to mix Cody's bottles and today I've mixed all of them while standing, after having even walked from his room with them after feeding him. Talk about feeling completely out of shape! Yesterday, I actually moved Cody around like I'd originally planned with the stroller, stood up while I changed him, and fed him on the couch rather than my chair. Probably will only be a once a day thing until I get stronger, but worrisome PTs be damned, Cody's bigger and using that chair all the time is going to bury me.
I love how the last physical therapist I saw before Cody was born put it, 'The pregancy has compromised your ms.' Isn't that the truth. It's normal for women to experience changes in their pelvis when they are pregnant and after they have the baby, but add in spastic muscles trying to pull everything every which way, and you end up with a sacral joint that locks and/or pops and clicks. Now, with having fallen back to the chair to be able to care for Cody (and contribute at least SOME to the house work, etc.), I have really slid down hill and gotten worse much quicker than I was guessing I would following the pregnancy. The PTs have helped me greatly, but I have to wonder if sometimes they get overly cautious.
Today is my first day trying to do everything on my feet. So far, I've only used my chair about half the time and boy am I tired! Is amazing how many muscles you use just for standing and walking and how quickly, at least if you have ms, you get out of shape when you stop using them on a regular basis. I know that if I keep picking at what the ms keeps trying to knock out, I may just end up at a neutral point where I don't get worse... and I can keep up the hope that I may even end up better.
Actually, in reading through this trying to correct my clumsy finger typos, I just realized how it really isn't amazing how out of shape you get if you stop walking, etc. as much as you did, and it isn't just because I have ms. When I was 14 I broke my foot and wore a cast for 6 - 8 weeks - WEEKS, and my calf muscles where disgustingly atrophied to the point my lower leg made me think of pictures I'd seen of POWs and people in the holocaust concentration camps who had been starved. So, why would I think my whole body would be any different if I had quit using it to the extent I had been.
All we can do each day is try our best and keep working to make ourselves and our situation better.
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