I needed a ride to night, I NEEDED to get away. Between the girl's arguing, not wanting to do what I ask and not being able to do what she says she will do completely (stinks when you need to follow behind your kid to make sure they completed whatever it was they're helping with), and the demands of an infant, I needed out. So, after Nate got home and we got Cody fed, we ate, and changed and put to the baby to bed, Nate headed out to work in the garage. Cody's asleep, Jayda's at a ball game with our neighbor, so I headed out to the garage, tell Nate to keep an ear to the house for if Cody should wake up, grab my helmet and head out.
It's almost dark, I probably SHOULD catch Cherokee, who's the only one who's been messed with since February, but the thought blinked through my mind in a split second and I called Clue. What a doll, he comes from the tree line a 100 feet from the gate (not quickly mind you, but he cam a moseying :-)). I saddled again on my own, Yay, getting stronger all the time, soon maybe I'll use my rough out again, instead of my light synthetic saddle. lol Nate worries, so he'd joined us by the time I was getting ready for the final cinch tightening and getting on, and 'helped', but I wouldn't have needed him.
As I rode out with Clue into the south field, I had to laugh to myself. Last time I'd ridden alone in the dark, it was on Clue, half drunk from riding through Brookings and mooching beers at different houses and the unit volley ball game and rode through the SDSU Cow/Calf unit on the way back to the stable - in the PITCH dark! He was such a great horse then, and still is now. :-) He'd even walked through the cows that night, and out along the hwy with cars going by w/out even a flinch. Same tonight, He wasn't sure about the dark bushes, but stayed where I put him after I said that we were riding the fence line. Round bales in the dark are a little scary when they catch the house lights, but not if he gets the signal to eat and he can have a bite of grass in front of them. lol
I'm glad I'd just told Jayda of when I'd had a horse rear up and land on my leg, back b4 HS started, b/c I was insistent on her passing through some fence posts b/c there was no wire on them... didn't even dawn on me then that she'd probably thought I was asking her to go through a fence. I was going to leave the pasture tonight through where they must have had a gate at one time, but nothing there now, and Clue wasn't gonna have it, probably thought it was a fence, plus, the house lights were probably interrupting his vision too. Okay, we'll go out where we came in at and go around and go back in here so the light's shining on it and not in your eyes. Non issue then. I love having an old 'friend' around, who can sit for months, and still do great when you get a whim. I didn't push Clue to go through the gate area b/c I guess I've grown up now, and didn't want to make the same mistake twice (btw, the mare who reared up and landed on my leg, was my first concussion and she busted every bone in my right foot in some why/shape/ or form).
I'm not completely strong yet, b/c all I felt up to for untacking was getting the bridle off... or maybe I'm just lazy 'cause of course Nate was back hovering over me and when he asked if I wanted him to get the saddle, I said 'heck yeah'. I turned Clue out myself though, and had a good cry over the state of things. I mean, my gawd, how did I get here?! I used to swing up on his 16hh back bare back with no problem, and now I need help saddling and use a mounting block with him... all I can, and should do is focus on what I can do, and have already 'lost' and gotten back again. I tacked up on my own, got on and off with out any help (other than the mounting block, lol), and took off and put away the bridle on my own. Ah yes, caught and turned out by myself.
I'm gonna say it, keeps milling through my mind so maybe if I say it it'll go away, but I have to wonder if I wouldn't have fallen so far back if I hadn't been 'spit at' for being a forward thinker and asking for a way to be sure that I could take a break on the many days I was working 15 hour days. Probably just comes down to me, and not handling the rejection that came with getting diagnosed with the dammed ms. Could be part of why I never got hired again after all the interviews, having my confidence in myself and what my abilities now were all blown apart. ... But it could be, that this is exactly where I'm supposed to be. :-)
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