Being a Mom

I'm a little late with Mother's Day, but I've been thinking how great, and sometimes awful motherhood is.  I got a forward for mother's day, that I got reminded of this morning: located at the end of this post...

This morning, and for about the last week, my 6 month old grabs my figures and proceeds to chew on them.  Poor guy's going to be pushing teeth through any day now, but he's really been handling it well.  This is my attempt at sketching what I picture the photo of us going to Cody's room this morning would look like if there'd been someone else here to snap one.  I used to draw all the time back in school (B.C. - before children! LOL) and you can tell I was able to get up and snap a pic of the chair... Cody and I, not so hot coming out of my imagination.  What had happened was this, I was carrying Cody on my lap (like usual) and had the bottle in my hand.  Cody bent over (I didn't get that captured in my art... oops, lol) and was chewing on my knuckle as I drove us down to his room.

My girl, however, is showing that she just entered the 'Tween Zone'.  And a frustrating kind of Twilight Zone it can be!  Lat week, she spent at least a portion of everyday either yelling at me and/or freaking out over something.  I think we've found the solution though, we'd already been increasing her chores and help with the animals, hoping that would help discipline her, but what seems to be doing the trick is having an hour later bed time.  Go figure?!  It had been at 8 pm since she was younger, b/c she'd freak out in the morning, etc. if she got less sleep.  When we moved her bed time up to 9 this weekend, b/c she's now 10, with the stipulation that any 'flak' and it goes back to 8, she's been an absolute charm.  Oh dear, it just struck me that Cody will (most likely) be in the 'terrible two' phase right when Jayda starts menstruating!  God help us.

Before I was a Mom, 
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom, 
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom, 
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom, 
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom, 
I didn't know the feeling of
having my heart outside my body..
I didn't know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond
between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.
Before I was a Mom, 
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom