COWGIRL WISDOM

COWGIRL WISDOM: “Don't wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.” Mark Victor Hansen

Extremely fitting after my adventures last night.  I had planned my leave time around when I needed to go from my place to the State Rec Area (SRA), but called my friend to see if she was coming too before going out to catch my horse - her truck was with her hubby.  Well, been meaning to get down to her place for at least a yr now (maybe 2?!), so why not go pick her up?  Mind you, I've been proving myself to be more and more directionally challenged over the last few years (don't know if it's ms related or simply passing 30, lol).  Yep, thought I was doing good, but pulled into the wrong place and then got myself turned around back a$$ backwards following her directions over the phone (What DID we do before cellphones?!).  Go west?  'Oh, that's to my right', my head tells me... you know, head is north, left is east, right west....  Wait a sec.!  That doesn't even make sense with the cardinal direction's 'W-E' when reading maps!!  Dyslexic?  No, at the computer too much.  I'm facing south at my computer, and west is out the window to my right - goodness!!

Anyway, I picked up my friend, eventually and we ended up being an hour late for the ride.  Went to empty my bladder in the trailer before hopping on my horse, and fell.  Bare assed onto the dirty trailer floor!  UGH.  Okay, got bridled up - eventually.  (Last night was another lesson in just admitting needing help and ASKING FOR IT, btw.)  Mount. Nope, feet said enough, and wouldn't pick up.  Finally asked for help and got on my horse!  Had a nice hour ride in a new location, with two new friends and an old one. :-)  Asked for help much more readily dismounting, and nearly fell on my butt again going to sit on my mounting block.  Lots of laughter though, and I actually can say I'm starting to enjoy the calamities that comes with the ms.  Maybe not enjoy, but at least be able to laugh at them with other people.

Thanks Leigh for getting a picture! :-)

Why horses?

I have SO many things that I have written up\started in my head, but this one jumped out at me and caused me to pull up my page.

Growing up in a non-horsey family, I was always looked at (or at least perceived myself to be looked at) with some skepticism and misunderstanding.  It was (is still) perfectly acceptable for family members to put up their hobbies as excuses to miss events, but riding - rarely.  Going out to 'play' with your horse was seen as just that, playing.  The other non-horse riding members of society seem to have the same views.  If you are going out to ride, you're just out playing around.  Jobs focusing in on your horse knowledge then, also, should not have to pay you as much, of course, because you're just playing and therefore not to be taken seriously.

Why do it then?  It's strenuous, hot, dirty and potentially dangerous.  I'll tell you why, for the vast majority of horse back riders, if not all, it's in our blood.  Speaking for myself, I cannot think of any other place I feel the most 'connected' to earth, nature, God, than on the back of a horse - or even being around them.  I hate speaking in front of people, always have, but if I've got a horse beside me, an inner strength is found and I draw upon the horse's presence.  That said, and to hint at a future post, I do NOT view horses to be 'super natural sentient beings' to be put above any other animal.

As I loaded up my horse's tack we'd taken out of the trailer this weekend, I had to ask myself why I was doing this and could see where the non-horse inclined population might view people like me as being a few cards short of a full deck.  I'm hoping to head out tonight (barring inclement weather that seems near according to the weather guesser and with the thick, humid air) for 3 reasons.

1. To socialize with others who're short the same cards I must be... though let me put this thought out there, perhaps our 'deck' is not short some cards, but we have more than the average 52 card deck.
2. To exercise and do therapy for my ms ridden body.
3. To keep my horse in shape and 'on task'.

I really cannot think of better exercise than riding a horse... to be covered in a later post, as I know I need to rest some before going out to catch and load my horse before my neighbor gets here to watch Cody until my husband gets home.

(btw, My horse has chewed on his tongue since the day I met him - 16 yrs ago! - I'm not THAT heavy! rofl)

Sneaking in a ride

Despite the MS and not being able to ride for a long time, and having the baby and just plain not having much time, I am really making a descent 'run' with the distance derby.  Amazing how a little competition, even if it's just with yourself, will motivate you.  Currently, I'm listed as 46th out of 70+ riders.  Not bad considering my circumstances!  Last night my husband called and said he hadn't had much work and was hoping to be home by 4:30, so what do I do, I go change into riding clothes (*not* my PJs I hadn't bothered getting out of all day since I had no where to go!) and wait anxiously for Nate to arrive to trudge out in the 8?+ inches of snow to catch me a horse and saddle him.

 I had him grab Clue so I'd have a nice, easy ride before it got totally dark.  

In using a GPS for the race, I found out that Clue's trot is twice as fast as Cherokee cantering (slowly so I can sit it easily) and it's still more comfortable to ride!

Our sats from our quick sunset ride were;

Distance: 1.09 mi

Time: 31:53

Moving Time: 25:25

Elapsed Time: 31:53

Avg Speed: 2.1 mph

Avg Moving Speed: 2.6 mph

Max Speed: 13.4 mph

 

I rode Cherokee the day before, which was the day after our Nebraska February snowstorm and just totted for the fastest we went (mind you, I am now a pretty much walk only rider), but here's our stats from Sunday;

Distance: 2.57 mi
Time: 1:25:32
Moving Time: 53:45
Elapsed Time: 1:25:32
Avg Speed: 1.8 mph
Avg Moving Speed: 2.9 mph
Max Speed: 4.7 mph

Sunday would have been my grandpa's 98th birthday and we got around 10 inches of snow.  There was no going outside for anybody for the most part of that day, though our neighbor came and cleared our driveway in case of an emergency.

Snow used to be fun.  I loved going out in it during winter breaks or helping out feeding all the horses and cleaning stalls at the barn if school was called off due to snow.  Now, I have to seriously consider what and where I'll go if I'm wanting to go outside with snow.  I'm lucky enough to have a husband who'll saddle my horse and bring him to the driveway for me to get on.  We are already talking about how and where we'll put sidewalks in around the place too.

Skewing surveys

Just finished a survey that was posted on my ms20something group-

     Posted by: "UCD Chronic Illness Study" ucdchronicillnessstudy@yahoo.com        ucdchronicillnessstudy

     Sun Feb 5, 2012 2:02 pm (PST)

     Hello!

      You were recently invited to participate
      in a project designed to increase understanding of chronic illnesses.  We are writing to request your
      participation again in the following study:

      Predictors of Disability and
      Acceptance in Persons with Chronic Health Conditions in Internet-Based Chronic
      Illness Support Groups (COMIRB No: 11-1278).
      This study is being led Abbie Beacham, Ph.D., at the University of Colorado
      Denver.

      The study involves answering a series of online
      questionnaires designed to increase understanding of chronic illnesses.  We are
      inviting participants (age 18 and older) who have been and are currently
      experiencing a chronic illness for at least 3 months to complete an online
      survey. It is anticipated that this survey will take approximately 30-45
      minutes of your time to complete.

      In addition, we request that you
      forward/share the survey link to other individuals with chronic illnesses who
      may wish to participate in this studyso that they may have the
      opportunity to assist us in gathering information about chronic illnesses and
      online support groups.
      Please click on the following link if you are interested in
      learning more about the research study:

      https://www. surveymonkey. com/s/JFYG77J


I wonder how much me being an equestrian messes up their results? lol  'How often has your illness interfered in activities you would like to do?'  Um, all the time because I would LIKE to go galloping across the fields like I did as a kid!

Falling

I saw this quote on a friend's post on FB today, and couldn't help but think of my 'meeting with the sidewalk' I had last week.

...To dry my eyes and laugh at a fall,
and baffled, get up and start again...
Robert Browning

'Pre'  my MS diagnosis, I typically reacted to injury with laughter and some comment about how silly I was.  Now, I break down into tears at the simplest finger in a door, electric fence jolt, or a fall.  I believe it is due to a combination of the nerves being sensitive anyway and most likely some psychological factors.  I mean, really, can you imagine your 'accident list' more than doubling in one year, and continually getting worse every year?  When I took this fall, leaving the gym I attend, I remember surprise (I had just been thinking that I was walking really well!), that my hands stung and was doing a mental check on making sure I was okay.  This was the first fall due to my toe catching resulting in an almost trip wire type fall, like I was a walking tree and someone had just chopped me down.  Then the tears came!  My hands HURT.  My chin was bleeding.  And WHAT was going to become of me?!  That is why I believe that a person's acceptance of their disease, injury, or what ever it may be has a lot to do with the symptoms and problems the person encounters.

Here is a web site I found, with some fairly good information on the pain that comes with MS.  MS pain   I don't know, it's hard to judge.  I believe my back pain is due to my poor posture... which is most likely due to my MS, with weak muscles, fatigue and the all over 'short circuiting' of my nerves.  My figures are always sore and I never could get someone to give me a reason why, other than 'you have MS'.    But really, is the pain that comes with MS so bad to warrant the use of drugs, say marijuana?  But, that is for another conversation.  Now, I leave you with the full poem that got me writing about my fall (though I must have been intending to share it because I made sure to have my husband to get pictures of my chin....).

Life in a Love

By Robert Browning 1812–1889 Robert Browning

Escape me?

Never—

Beloved!

While I am I, and you are you,

         So long as the world contains us both,

         Me the loving and you the loth,

While the one eludes, must the other pursue.

My life is a fault at last, I fear:

It seems too much like a fate, indeed!

Though I do my best I shall scarce succeed.

But what if I fail of my purpose here?

It is but to keep the nerves at strain,

To dry one's eyes and laugh at a fall,

And, baffled, get up and begin again,—

So the chase takes up one's life, that's all.

While, look but once from your farthest bound

At me so deep in the dust and dark,

No sooner the old hope goes to ground

Than a new one, straight to the self-same mark,

I shape me—

Ever

Removed!

 

Well, I'm doing it again, trying to 'compete' on horseback with others.  This time, it's in the 'Great Horsetrailriders Distance Derby

I've accumulated nearly 10 miles since after the beginning of this year!  Some have even broken the 200 mile mark.  Can't believe we're all out there riding in January!

My sweetie and I have been married six years now and we made sure to get out of a couple hour ride on our anniversary.

Muscle loss and gain

Can hardly believe it's been so long since I've posted.... oh wait, I can.  The Cody's now 14 months and getting more active and sleeping less during the day!

I started going to physical therapy (PT) a bit ago (2 months?!) and have gotten myself worked about up to the same physical level I was at before Cody came.  I of course chat with the therapists at the clinic most of the time I'm there and have really enjoyed picking their brains on the how, what, and whys of what I experience with the MS.  Monday was especially 'productive' and I learned something I hadn't heard before - with a person on bed rest, it takes only 4 days for the body to start losing muscle mass and atrophying.  Then, the real kicker, it takes 8 weeks to gain back what is lost if all you do is daily 'household' activities.  Of course the numbers are a little different for someone who is still active but moves to a wheelchair, like I have done most of the time to work with the baby, but it still shows how quickly we 'lose it' when we stop using it.  I haven't found quite the exact paper my therapist was telling me about, but this one is close.
http://users.hal-pc.org/~ghill/1966.html

The paper really shows the importance of trying to keep ourselves as active and fit as long as we can.

On a side note, I got a new camera for Christmas and will do my best to try and get more photos on my page.